Finally some self-esteem

So.. after my 18th birthday (which was a little bit ago in January).. things started to look up in terms of how I viewed myself and the world. With being 18 came the freedom of not having my controlling mother dictate my assets in the bank under her name as a custodian or have her use me as leverage in court for more unrightful child support money.. but all of my mother's drama aside, her problems are no longer my own.

Having saved up enough money when I was sixteen.. I've began my treatments for laser hair removal for my face. I always was told I look a lot older than what I am.. and having always felt like an adult due to my mother's alcoholism and my father's depression at the time rendering them.. not useless, but not effective parents.. I have felt world weary for most of my short life. Now, people mistake me for younger than I am.. and that is a good feeling. People ask me what if I want a beard later in life.. but.. I figure that.. no matter what anyone has.. they will always covet what they don't.. even if what they now have is what they once wanted.. if that makes sense.

The point of this blog isn't to rant about how bad my life is; it's far from bad, especially compared to someone who would live in Africa, the Middle East.. or someone with a physical or mental chronic illness.. it is just that I have finally come to terms with most of my demons. However, I am asking for the help of any and all of those who read this..

I'm trying to save up for laser hair removal for my chest and stomach.. since my shaving has begun to irritate my skin and waxing just causes infections because of my poor circulation (how this works is that because there's not as much blood moving around, the dead cells and dirt that fills the empty pores is left to stagnate).. I will have a counter on the side of my blog that will count off how much money I have going towards the treatments and the goal. Now, I'm not trying to whine or complain.. sure, I could suck it up and live with it, but each person has his right to be happy, eh? So I figured I'd ask and see if anyone would be willing to help out.. and considering the minds of men often work with "well what's in it for me" is that.. if I don't have to have to shave.. I don't have to worry about tearing up my skin.. no tearing up my skin means I'll be more willing to make videos.. and now being 18.. I'm a little more.. adventurous, I guess. =] No, not meaning x-rated.. but.. those who donate, I will be willing to repay.

But don't feel obligated. It's sorta.. you rub my belly, I rub yours, sorta deal. =] All salesmanship aside, for those who have frequented this page, just know that I'm feeling a lot better about myself.. sadly though, I've lost around ten pounds from my medication I'm taking for my ear infections.. makes me sick after I eat.. but.. I'm a social person.. I'm afraid to gain by myself..

Hmm..

I'm wondering whether or not I should continue gaining.. or wait until university. I mean.. I don't know, I've just been hesitant because I want to gain with someone.. and I'm worried that if I get fat, I won't be able to get a boyfriend. *sigh*

My mind is confused.

Help, pl0x?

A Week Home Alone

So.. my family went on vacation and I opted to stay home.. and my father gave me $300 basically for whatever I wanted or needed.. sooooo..

I'm going to see how much I can gain by eating the stuff I want.. not the stuff that my parents want.. haha.. my scale says I'm about 158 lbs now.. so let's see where I can get by the end of this week. :D

I've bought a wifebeater.. actually a pack of three.. all mediums. (LINKEH! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqP7mnWhTFk )

And I got 10 lbs of weight gain powder.. well.. two five pounders.. reason being is that they were on sale.. haha.. but it's 820 calories a serving so imma take that every night before I go to bed. I went grocery shopping and bought pizzas, ice cream, chips and dip.. yeah..

It's going to be intense. And I'll make a comparison video this Saturday. ^^ I already feel bigger though.. haha.. my gut's starting to sit in my lap now..

Wifebeaters...

Yeah.. I want one.. really bad.. but sadly, I don't have the money.. so imma cut a deal with those who decide to read my blog and check my videos:

If you help me get a wifebeater.. I'll make videos with it on and growing out of it.. seems fair, eh? I mean, if you think I look good, why not have some clothes to grow out of as well to go with it? I've yet to think of a suitable bargain, but let's just say.. anyone who helps out gets to see special videos, maybe with me talking.. maybe with my face.. not sure yet what I'm going to do BUT I'LL DO IT.. and of course, they'll be private, so uniquely those guys that will help get to see.. of course unless someone hacks their account.. haha.. but that's unlikely.

I'm just wondering if someone would like to help encourage my way out of a wifebeater as well.. haha.. then I'd have to start buying larges instead of mediums..

What say you? :O

I'm Back!

So.. with some soul searching.. and regaining of what little self-esteem I have had.. I'm back under the alias of "chubbyboy7teen" on YouTube. To make it up to those who have followed my blog, I shall include some pictures for you all! =D

As one might conclude, I have been gaining.. but I'm still trying as hard as I can to gain with what little money I have. Regardless..

Because I need to wake up early tomorrow, however.. I must go to bed BUT feel free to leave me a few comments.. I'll update everyone when I'm not half asleep..

Until then! :D

Vanishing

*sigh*

I don't feel good about my body anymore.. not like I ever have. But. I don't feel it's good enough to go showing around the world. Heh..I don't even good even showing it around my house..

*sigh* No one wants to see a seventeen year old who looks like he's 40.

So here's good bye.

Damn This Economy

So.. as some may know.. I used to work for a candy store.. before the economy took a royal shit. Afterwards, the candy store's sales plummeted (because the dip-wads didn't realise that no one's gonna by $25/lb chocolate in a recession) and I was laid off.

And now I has no money. No money. No food. "BUT WAIT! AREN'T YOU SEVENTEEN!? WHY AREN'T YOUR PARENTS BUYING FOOD?!"

They do.. just insanely gross health food that's not real food but food-substitute. Gah. So I worry I won't be gaining as fast as I'd like for a while.. unless I mystically find money.

Despite this lack of funds, however.. I'm a lot happier overall with my life. I used to suffer from depression when I lived with my mother.. but after I came out.. and after I moved out of her house and realised a lot about myself.. I'm very content.. I've found a good bunch of people.. some of which are gainers.. I realised who my friends truly are.. and how to stand up for myself.. I don't take things so seriously nor do I take things to heart all the time..

*sigh* But if only I could defeat this relentless metabolism. Now *that* would be awesome.